Bloggers, Narcissists and Insurance Salesmen

A friend of mine was an insurance salesman. He was sick of his job because it comprised of wheedling appointments out of friends, acquaintances and relatives, going to their homes on a Sunday morning, narrating stories of how someone he knew died of a heart attack at the prime of life and left his widow and teenage son helpless in this big bad world, followed up by ‘uncle I hope you wont make the same mistake; here’s a policy just perfect for you, blah blah blah..’.

While I always knew I would never have the caliber to become a salesman of this level, I thought post engineering that some kind of ‘technical’ selling could be my forte, considering my so called ‘soft skills’. That misconception was shattered after I joined GE and failed miserably trying to make high tech sales of high end diagnostic medical equipments. I became totally confident that as a salesman I would not even meet my targets selling chilled beer in the middle of the Sahara.

But…my post-blogging days have transformed me. Here are some samples of my typical conversations with friends:

X: Aur beta kya kar raha hai?
Self: Chal raha hai yaar. Blog likh raha tha.
X: Blog? U ka hai?
Self: Arey bataya nehi? Dekh le. Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

Y: Did you see Rang de basanti?
Self: Saale blog me itna halla hua dekha nehi? Dekh aur comment likh. http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

Z: Bad news man! Raj’s father passed away.
Self: Shit man! He was a great guy yaar! I need to write a condolence message on my blog. Maybe if he reads it he can find some consolation. Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

A: Boss what about that doc you were supposed to send me?
Self: Gimme 2 minutes.
A: OK thanks.
Self: Check out the Amazing fact of the day. Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

B: Did you get my mail? I am in serious shit with my girlfriend man!
Self: Get it? I posted it dude. It was too good to resist!! Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/.
B: Shit!

And so on and so forth. I am pretty disgusted guys. I was always someone who never took myself seriously. And now I refresh the bloody blog 40 times each day to see if someone has posted a comment or if some reviewer has ‘discovered’ me. When there are no comments (usually there aren’t, except for those of my brother Loky) , I read through old posts.

When I finally realized that blogging has made me more shameless than an insurance salesman and more self obsessed than any narcissist, I was pretty disgusted. The first thing I did was to remove the pic from the site. Second, I have vowed never to remind anyone to read my blog.

Relieved everyone?