Feb 3, 2006

Mera Bharat Mahaan

A debate is raging currently between me and Loky. To give you some background, he has spent the last 3 years out of India (Japan, US and Germany) and is now desperate to return to India. Vikas is on the verge of immigrating to Australia in March and Loky feels that this is a bad move on his part. I think moving out of our bloody country (to some specific countries like Australia, New Zealand, parts of Europe, Singapore, Thailand or Malaysia) is the only sensible option left. Here are some excerpts of our mature conversation:

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neil_goswami: as far as i am concerned noida se adelaide is zillion times better place for sanika to grow up in
Lokendra Singh Parihar: so u guys think no indian kids should grow up in india, thats ridiculous!
Lokendra Singh Parihar: so u think confused desis are better than desis
neil_goswami: shut up u fucking NRI
neil_goswami: 2 saal bahar rehke patriot bann gaya behn ka loura
neil_goswami: 2 german kya gaand pe laath maara behnchod indian hone ka yaad aa gaya
Lokendra Singh Parihar: sach hamesha kadwa hota hai
neil_goswami: kadwa kyu hone laga? mai to hu desh me..tu aaja..fir baat karte hai
Lokendra Singh Parihar: i'm sure, i'll be happy to be in india
neil_goswami: yes..and if u r not u will convince yourself that you are
Lokendra Singh Parihar: no i'll not
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Here is what he will find when he arrives in India:

1) He will carry his suitcase across the tarmac and step over overflowing shit from the toilets because AAI is striking.
2) He will be robbed blind by the taxi driver whose taxi he will take to reach home.
3) On the way he will sit a traffic snarl-up because some political party has taken out a procession protesting America’s role in Iraq.
4) Relaxing on his couch in the evening he will watch a news channel where there will be a 3 hour special about a DIG Police who has started believing that he is the reincarnation of Radha.
5) Retiring to bed he will stay up till 1 AM because the neighborhood ‘club’ is celebrating some religious festival by playing LOUD film music.
6) In the morning papers he will read that income tax sops given to salaried individuals have been withdrawn by the Finance Minister and the HRD has decreed that his son will have to learn Kannadi in school for 6 years.
7) He will go to office and do bullshit work and then find out that he has stay late in office to attend a telecom with US clients.
8) He will find that colleagues are uncooperative (and some downright hostile) because he is a ‘north-indian’.
9) On a long weekend he will take his wife to a resort only to find that he cannot venture out too much because a group of boisterous, rowdy and drunk students are making life miserable for everyone.

Come soon Loky. India is waiting for you.

11 comments:

Loki said...

Moving out of the bloody country, just for heck of “Bloody” doesn’t make any sense to me. I have absolutely no reservations in living abroad for a short while, but settling down there is strictly a NO-NO, wherever it may be. I don’t have much idea about how life really is in Australia, although from the things that I hear and see makes it an exciting place for an adventurous holiday.

I hear that my dear friend Vikas is moving out so that he can have a better life! Or as my dear friend Goswami says, Adelaide will be zillion times better that Noida for Sanika. In what way, may I ask? Because Australia has better infrastructure or medical facilities or what? Will that really matter for the little girl? At this stage in her life, she needs people around her and she’ll never get it there. What the fuck! I’m certain Sanika will not be denied of anything here in India.

Just because times are bad doesn’t give you enough reason to immigrate. I am sure Vikas will agree with me that he has had a good time all his life, minus the last couple of years. Our man has lived life like a king! At least that’s what it looked and I think so too. I used to be really proud to see him doing really well in the early stages of his career. I have seen his business grow from nothing to pretty big and seen him grow financially very well off, much much better than most of his peers.

As I see now, his business is down to dumps. I guess we all know who’s responsible for the downfall as much as for the growth. I think Vikas has forgotten how to fight back, few years back, you tried fighting with him, and you knew you’re going to have a tough time. Now you do that, and he’ll walk away like a sissy!

Come on Vikas, you have to fight back. That’s what life’s all about, you have some good times, some bad times and I truly believe that the good times are back again. But you need to work on it. When the going gets tough, the tough get going! Eye of the tiger man!

Also, don’t forget how you have lived the last 30 years in India. From the time you wake up to the time you go to bed there’s always someone to take care of you and pamper you. You think of settling abroad and I’m sure you in for some really, really, really tough times. I’m not saying that you can’t do it what I don’t understand is that how can you bank so much upon going there and getting everything right! That’s a tough one mate!

Look around you, talk to your family, friends, I’m sure you’ll find a solution here itself. And life will be good again! My best wishes are always with you and I really believe that you can do it. You just need to get rid of your fucked up casual attitude and do something about it.

Country roads take me home, to the place, I belong …

Okay, now let’s talk about my being a patriot. Well I don’t remember doing anything patriotic so far except for the fact that I believe myself to be an Indian which I am proud of. But this time I’ll definitely try to make a difference on my return. I like the 9 points that you made, but you know those are not for me. It seems that you are trying to tell someone who is thinking of settling in India and has never been there before. I have lived there all my life and I know what you are saying is correct but rather too critical. I have had a great time so far and I don’t regret anything except may be my decision to move to Bombay. On a positive note, I think it’s been an experience living there else I would have never known what it is to live in the “Maximum City”. By the way I choose never to go back to that city again for a living and any other place will definitely be better than the worst.

The North-South divide will always be there not only in India but abroad as well. Tell me about it, I’ve seen it in the US and now in Germany again. I am not going to be seeking Southie friends desperately in Bangalore, I think that place has much to offer even if you are a Northie. How many Southie pals did we have when we were in Bangalore? When I think of the past I think I had a ball of a time there, hope the “Bulls” did too.

I’ve been to the East and I’ve been to the West, the East is definitely better but you can’t beat India, it better than all the rest.

I’m coming home guys! Hooooraaay!

Shuv said...

waaaaaaaaaaaah!! sabas loky sabas. tu to manoj kumar bann gaya yaar!! jai hind..aaja, fir khoob dhamaal karenge.

Loki said...

jaroor karenge dhamaal. lets plan a get together at some new place, of course bachelors only! how about bangkok ? he he ...

Shuv said...

chalo shukar hai..nehi to tu aise mood me hai main socha bolega varanasi chalte hai freak out karne ke liye

vikas said...

hmmmm.Loky sure u have put some doubts back again in my mind but dnt you think i must have given this a mighty thought (talking about moving to australia), but i still think migrating is a better option unless my lawyer who says he will get rid of all my payables by declaring me bankrupt means it.
The tiger is fighting back mate its just a matter of time. You are right about change in my attitude guess gotta start thinking afresh again and it will be wise to go in attcking mode again.
so with this line i reslove that i ll try to change the way i have started looking at things.

thanks mates i love you

Loki said...

Fight tiger, we are all with you.

Buddha said...

I don't know any of the guys here expt Apu - so don't want to sound too certain about anything. However Mr.Loki - heres my 2 cents on this - I feel that you are moving back for yourself and everything else is an excuse? I think that way too sometimes - and it is mostly the friends and family that I miss. I have been abroad for 7 years. But IF you want to consider your childs future then you have to think harder. First if you have a son - moving back is not that big a problem for the child. I mean except for the pollution and the once-a-month disease and the corruption etc etc. However if you have a girl child - think again. Whatever you say, or think, India is not the best place in the world. Specially a place like Delhi - where you have to constantly live in fear.....
But then , in the end, nobody moves back to India because of reason - they move back because of emotion - Lets go HOME baby!!

Shuv said...

i guess thats the main thing buddha. if every decision had to be arrived at based on reason and thought, then this world will be a very boring place. if people take decisions based on emotion and sentiment, they seem more human and the world becomes more interesting. guys..buddha is my 'nephew' from the land of dhoni who is currently in yale.

Loki said...

buddha, thanks for the 2 cents, a beer would have been better. trust me i'm moving back to india for a reason not emotions only, its definitely a better place for indians. thats not to say that i'll never go abroad again, but definitely not for a long time.

reasons coming later...

rip van winkle said...

to dear Shuv :u dont leave yr home just bcoz the neighbours r having a better interior,or do u?
u dont go and eat in yr neighbour's house just bcoz the food is better.or do u?
u dont change yr mother just bcoz yr friend's mother looks better.or do you?

to dear loki : Its quite evident that there is something missing. you can change home,you can change yr country but the missing will continue.You will miss something in a better home too.you can go on piling up new furniture,new paintings,new cars but again and again u'll find something missing.
YOU are missing.YOU are not at home.And the furniture cannot do it.Nothing can be of any help unless YOU come home.
YOU have drifted apart from yr centre, You r out of touch with yrself,probably for a long time.Returning to yr source will be coming home.your source is Not India or any other country,but your source is Lokendra Singh Parihar.

rip van winkle said...

dear loki,more and more i read yr section more and more i becme certain that u r taking the righ decision.in fact the way u have put up the whole thing was starting to give me a weird kind of thrill man!
if i had known u i would definitely toasted to this with you.THREE CHEERS boss!!