Feb 28, 2006

Bloggers, Narcissists and Insurance Salesmen

A friend of mine was an insurance salesman. He was sick of his job because it comprised of wheedling appointments out of friends, acquaintances and relatives, going to their homes on a Sunday morning, narrating stories of how someone he knew died of a heart attack at the prime of life and left his widow and teenage son helpless in this big bad world, followed up by ‘uncle I hope you wont make the same mistake; here’s a policy just perfect for you, blah blah blah..’.

While I always knew I would never have the caliber to become a salesman of this level, I thought post engineering that some kind of ‘technical’ selling could be my forte, considering my so called ‘soft skills’. That misconception was shattered after I joined GE and failed miserably trying to make high tech sales of high end diagnostic medical equipments. I became totally confident that as a salesman I would not even meet my targets selling chilled beer in the middle of the Sahara.

But…my post-blogging days have transformed me. Here are some samples of my typical conversations with friends:

X: Aur beta kya kar raha hai?
Self: Chal raha hai yaar. Blog likh raha tha.
X: Blog? U ka hai?
Self: Arey bataya nehi? Dekh le. Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

Y: Did you see Rang de basanti?
Self: Saale blog me itna halla hua dekha nehi? Dekh aur comment likh. http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

Z: Bad news man! Raj’s father passed away.
Self: Shit man! He was a great guy yaar! I need to write a condolence message on my blog. Maybe if he reads it he can find some consolation. Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

A: Boss what about that doc you were supposed to send me?
Self: Gimme 2 minutes.
A: OK thanks.
Self: Check out the Amazing fact of the day. Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/

B: Did you get my mail? I am in serious shit with my girlfriend man!
Self: Get it? I posted it dude. It was too good to resist!! Its http://www.absolutelynothingisavailable.blogspot.com/.
B: Shit!

And so on and so forth. I am pretty disgusted guys. I was always someone who never took myself seriously. And now I refresh the bloody blog 40 times each day to see if someone has posted a comment or if some reviewer has ‘discovered’ me. When there are no comments (usually there aren’t, except for those of my brother Loky) , I read through old posts.

When I finally realized that blogging has made me more shameless than an insurance salesman and more self obsessed than any narcissist, I was pretty disgusted. The first thing I did was to remove the pic from the site. Second, I have vowed never to remind anyone to read my blog.

Relieved everyone?


Loki said...

Relieved? Are you crazy? Just keep it going.

Perhaps you had a long weekend this time and I totally missed your blogs. Was hoping to reply to some of them but unfortunately there were none. One request I would make is that next time while going on a long weekend, leave some food for me, food for thought!

Shuv said...

i never said i will stop blogging mu luv. just that i will stop pestering people to read it.

vikas said...

just keep it going mate may be i ll get inspired in a year or two to start one myself.even if i dnt i ll have something to relish in my old age by reading urs

Shuv said...

my gods!! 8 comments from vikas!! my strategy worked!!!!!!!

Loki said...

Your blog is really powerful. Check this out - a chat session between me and vikas:

vikas dogra: shaadi ke baad shayad ban jaye
Loki: tu apna font change nehi karega to blog me daal doonga
Loki: *font color
vikas dogra: le
vikas dogra: ab theek hai

you can't make out the font color here but it was ridiculous and vikas did change the multicolor to only black

many thanks! mate

kaushik said...

Ha! Ha! And I thought I was the only. All the tricks that people indulge in.

munia said...

aai opu!!! jei tor blog ta pora shuru korlam, bondo korli keno lekha?? tachara amazingfotd the thik bodhgommo holo na......ektu kholsha korbi

bubai said...

apu, dukhkho korish na - we all love you. keep writing. see - even I'm developing the skill of reading. posting comments too. that is ur biggest achievement.

shuv said...

second biggest is that vikas has started writing a blog...

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