Her daughter was on the phone again. She had that ghastly expression on her face, one that bordered between terror and ecstasy, if there could be a border between these two emotions. She ran towards her and took her in her arms.
'Who is it darling', she whispered in her ear.
'Its mommy', she said.
With trembling hands she took the phone and said 'hallo??'
A woman cackled wildly on the phone and disconnected the line.
Dec 3, 2008
Nov 27, 2008
...and after it all
there will be a picture in the front pages of the dailies tomorrow of a local train packed like sardines with smiling commuters and the headlines will scream
THE SPIRIT OF MUMBAI!!!
THE SPIRIT OF MUMBAI!!!
Jul 15, 2008
The last hurrah!
Lottery tickets!! That's it! He shot up in a flash. Now how the hell didnt it occur to him before? It was just 10 bucks a day. And he could cut down a pack of smokes a day for that. He knew he could do it. Initially, he had thought that moving from Marlboros to Pall Malls will be difficult. But he was used to it by now. Used to a lot of changes really. Used to moving from city to city looking for jobs. Used to staying unwelcome at friends' houses and convincing himself that they actually liked to have him stay with them for a couple of months. Used to logging in everyday to the zillion job sites and not finding anything. Used to not letting the panic and pleading come into his tone when he called ex colleagues and asked them if there were any openings. Used to the resigned acceptance of his family when he told them he was on the verge of getting something. Used to the terror stalking him every night when it seemed the tunnel had no light at its end and he would be stuck in the darkness forever.
When he bought the ticket he KNEW. He had gone for the state lottery. And the state wont cheat him. And it came as no surprise when he got the call from New York saying he had cracked the jackpot. 150 million dollars. 150 million roads to redemption. A thousand million dreams waiting to be fulfilled. Goodbye frustration. Goodbye abuse. Goodbye going to sleep and not sleeping. Hallo life.
Before entering the building he rechecked the address. As he entered the foyer he looked at the clock in the lobby. It was 8:15 AM, September 11, 2001. He would remember this date forever. He got into the elevator and pressed the button for the 98th floor.
When he bought the ticket he KNEW. He had gone for the state lottery. And the state wont cheat him. And it came as no surprise when he got the call from New York saying he had cracked the jackpot. 150 million dollars. 150 million roads to redemption. A thousand million dreams waiting to be fulfilled. Goodbye frustration. Goodbye abuse. Goodbye going to sleep and not sleeping. Hallo life.
Before entering the building he rechecked the address. As he entered the foyer he looked at the clock in the lobby. It was 8:15 AM, September 11, 2001. He would remember this date forever. He got into the elevator and pressed the button for the 98th floor.
Jul 9, 2008
The true story behind the madness of Dr X
The experiments were over. Mice, guinee pigs, chimps had all responded as they were supposed to. His lifetime's efforts, sacrifices and back breaking work had come to an end. And tomorrow he would be the most controversial man in the history of mankind.
He would be revered by 2 billion people and vilified by the other 2. But in the end, he was sure they will all pay homage to him. Because he had discovered the elixir of true happiness. And no one who was happy would be able to deny the fact when it will be in front of everyone to see. In one swipe, 90% of global problems will be gone. For he had discovered the ultimate pill. And it was called Manlinex.
The fundamentals behind this were always simple and for everyone to see - increase of testosterone would lead to male symptoms. The challenges were dual - how to restrict the symptoms to only affect behavior and attitudes, rather than having physical effects. And the second was how to achieve all this through a single dose achieved by a single pill (that can be administered surreptitously to an unwilling patient), rather than a long drawn out clinical process. And that was what all these years of research was about. And he was ready for the first human test case.
Everything was in place when his wife returned from work that night. The mood lighting, the soft music, the diamond bracelet and the glass of wine with the dissolved pill. He had absolutely no doubts that the pill would work and he was not wrong. The night was probably his best with his wife - where they polished off the wine and migrated to whiskey, and Richard Chamberlain gave way to Led Zep, and the living room was strewed with empty pizza boxes and cigerette ash, and the sex was uninhibited and raunchy and physical.
After it all, he laid a content and happy man. Not only for himself, for the incredible success, adulation and money he will get, but also for the millions worldwide who will live happier lives.
He felt his wife move beside him. He sat up and saw her getting ready to go out. Rubbing sleep from his eyes he asked 'Where are you going? Its almost midnight!'.
'I will be out with a few friends..will be late. You lock the door behind me', she said as she sailed out into the night.
He would be revered by 2 billion people and vilified by the other 2. But in the end, he was sure they will all pay homage to him. Because he had discovered the elixir of true happiness. And no one who was happy would be able to deny the fact when it will be in front of everyone to see. In one swipe, 90% of global problems will be gone. For he had discovered the ultimate pill. And it was called Manlinex.
The fundamentals behind this were always simple and for everyone to see - increase of testosterone would lead to male symptoms. The challenges were dual - how to restrict the symptoms to only affect behavior and attitudes, rather than having physical effects. And the second was how to achieve all this through a single dose achieved by a single pill (that can be administered surreptitously to an unwilling patient), rather than a long drawn out clinical process. And that was what all these years of research was about. And he was ready for the first human test case.
Everything was in place when his wife returned from work that night. The mood lighting, the soft music, the diamond bracelet and the glass of wine with the dissolved pill. He had absolutely no doubts that the pill would work and he was not wrong. The night was probably his best with his wife - where they polished off the wine and migrated to whiskey, and Richard Chamberlain gave way to Led Zep, and the living room was strewed with empty pizza boxes and cigerette ash, and the sex was uninhibited and raunchy and physical.
After it all, he laid a content and happy man. Not only for himself, for the incredible success, adulation and money he will get, but also for the millions worldwide who will live happier lives.
He felt his wife move beside him. He sat up and saw her getting ready to go out. Rubbing sleep from his eyes he asked 'Where are you going? Its almost midnight!'.
'I will be out with a few friends..will be late. You lock the door behind me', she said as she sailed out into the night.
Jul 5, 2008
Sometimes...a writer's block is good
Its cold here in the city
It always seems that way
And Ive been thinking about you almost everyday
Thinking about the good times
Thinking about the rain
Thinking about how bad it feels alone again
Im sorry for the way things are in china
Im sorry things aint what they used to be
But more than anything else
Im sorry for myself
cause youre not here with me
Our friends ask all about you
I say youre doing fine
And I expect to hear from you almost anytime
But they all know Im crying
I cant sleep at night
They all know Im dying down deep inside
Im sorry for all the lies I told you
Im sorry for the things I didnt say
But more than anything else
Im sorry for myself
I cant believe you went away
Im sorry if I took some things for granted
Im sorry for the chains I put on you
But more than anything else
Im sorry for myself
For living without you
It always seems that way
And Ive been thinking about you almost everyday
Thinking about the good times
Thinking about the rain
Thinking about how bad it feels alone again
Im sorry for the way things are in china
Im sorry things aint what they used to be
But more than anything else
Im sorry for myself
cause youre not here with me
Our friends ask all about you
I say youre doing fine
And I expect to hear from you almost anytime
But they all know Im crying
I cant sleep at night
They all know Im dying down deep inside
Im sorry for all the lies I told you
Im sorry for the things I didnt say
But more than anything else
Im sorry for myself
I cant believe you went away
Im sorry if I took some things for granted
Im sorry for the chains I put on you
But more than anything else
Im sorry for myself
For living without you
May 12, 2008
Rant
A lot has been written on this blog about the state of Indian television. Last week I came across something that just took the cake. It was a hindi music channel that had a scrolling bar with something called 'Loveguru' where one was supposed to sms a couple's name to a specific number and get back a 'love percentage' that will tell them the chances of their relationship clicking. I sms-ed 'OSAMA' and the name of someone i used to know..got 100% as the chances of success. There were poor blokes however who got percentages of low 50-s and 60-s and i wondered how many have broken up relationships with seeds of doubts planted by this crap.
One can of course argue that its just trivial time pass and if someone is so insecure about their partners that they let a scrolling bar control their lives then they deserve what they get. I tend to agree as well..but thats not the point. Its the desperation for 'creative ideas' we keep on seeing on Indian television that never ceases to amaze me.
Add dollops of attitude on top of that and the impression these guys give of being the protectors of human rights, peace and democracy in the world and the combination always makes me want to grab the nearest heavy object and smash the screen in.
One can of course argue that its just trivial time pass and if someone is so insecure about their partners that they let a scrolling bar control their lives then they deserve what they get. I tend to agree as well..but thats not the point. Its the desperation for 'creative ideas' we keep on seeing on Indian television that never ceases to amaze me.
Add dollops of attitude on top of that and the impression these guys give of being the protectors of human rights, peace and democracy in the world and the combination always makes me want to grab the nearest heavy object and smash the screen in.
Apr 1, 2008
A poem for my son
What would I do,
If you became a pitiable drunk?
Wallowing in your self pity,
Meandering meaninglessly through life;
And I find you sitting alone somewhere,
Surrounded by the tattered fragments of your ruined life,
Putting up a brave front
And smiling that heart wrenching smile;
And saying 'It was all worth it,
and I would do it again'.
Would I think of my life?
How it was when I was his age?
How it still is,
Now that the excuses are gone,
The parameters have changed,
The paradigms have shifted,
But my behavior hasn't.
Where everything could be justified,
Because within my heart i knew i was always right;
And the heart never lies,
And the heart beats for you night and day,
And you need to save your heart from all that pain,
And you can do that all by running away.
If you became a pitiable drunk?
Wallowing in your self pity,
Meandering meaninglessly through life;
And I find you sitting alone somewhere,
Surrounded by the tattered fragments of your ruined life,
Putting up a brave front
And smiling that heart wrenching smile;
And saying 'It was all worth it,
and I would do it again'.
Would I think of my life?
How it was when I was his age?
How it still is,
Now that the excuses are gone,
The parameters have changed,
The paradigms have shifted,
But my behavior hasn't.
Where everything could be justified,
Because within my heart i knew i was always right;
And the heart never lies,
And the heart beats for you night and day,
And you need to save your heart from all that pain,
And you can do that all by running away.
Mar 28, 2008
Mar 10, 2008
Goodbye
The past 4 years of blogging has been a roller coaster ride. Had a lot of fun, a lot of fights, met some great people and had some serious 'time-pass'. But ultimately, had to pay a heavy price. No complaints though, nothing in this world is free.
So this the official 'closure post'. Will keep on visiting your blogs..and you all know how to contact me in case my wisdom is required to guide you through the troubled waters of your lives.
Goodbye. And good luck.
So this the official 'closure post'. Will keep on visiting your blogs..and you all know how to contact me in case my wisdom is required to guide you through the troubled waters of your lives.
Goodbye. And good luck.
Feb 28, 2008
Ode to an umbrella
It shelters you from the searing heat
Protects you from the torrential rain
And when the weather is fine
And its lovely to walk
You push it to some damp dark corner
And forget all about it.
But there will come some day
When you will be out in a storm
And you would reach out for one
To find its no longer there
You had neglected it for far too long
And someone has taken it away.
So, take care of that umbrella.
Did that make any sense?
Protects you from the torrential rain
And when the weather is fine
And its lovely to walk
You push it to some damp dark corner
And forget all about it.
But there will come some day
When you will be out in a storm
And you would reach out for one
To find its no longer there
You had neglected it for far too long
And someone has taken it away.
So, take care of that umbrella.
Did that make any sense?
Feb 20, 2008
Dont fight with friends
It was a typical new year eve morning. And the preparations were on for the night. As usual, the debate was about the break up of the six odd litres of booze that would be required. Meticulous planning, disaster recovery, buffer analysis and accurate estimation techniques are all required in this process. So obviously, there were disagreements. And one such disagreement reached ugly proportions and he stormed out of the house. As a parting shot, he told them all to go to hell and that he would celebrate my new year elsewhere.
There was another party on that he didnt particularly want to go to. He hardly knew anyone there and it was a stuffy high brow crowd. But there was nowhere else to go, and his ego was too big for him to call his friends and tell them that he was coming. So he went.
He suffered alone in that big crowd that night. Everyone else seemed to know each other and he was standing in a corner nursing his drink and cursing his luck. He saw her then in another corner of the room and she seemed to be in the same kind of situation. She was the most beautiful woman he had seen in his life. And she was alone like him in this big bad world. And he fell in love.
Today it was exactly 10 years to the day. And there was no particular reason why his mind went back to that night when he had met his wife for the first time. Except the lawyer's letter lying on the table asking him to meet for a consultation regarding the divorce proceedings. And that his mother was in the nursing home in shock. And that his son had stopped talking since being explained what it meant.
He slit his wrists that night. And while he watched his blood lazily snaking down the water in the bucket he thought of how things could have been different. But mostly, he thought of the friends he had fought with that night.
There was another party on that he didnt particularly want to go to. He hardly knew anyone there and it was a stuffy high brow crowd. But there was nowhere else to go, and his ego was too big for him to call his friends and tell them that he was coming. So he went.
He suffered alone in that big crowd that night. Everyone else seemed to know each other and he was standing in a corner nursing his drink and cursing his luck. He saw her then in another corner of the room and she seemed to be in the same kind of situation. She was the most beautiful woman he had seen in his life. And she was alone like him in this big bad world. And he fell in love.
Today it was exactly 10 years to the day. And there was no particular reason why his mind went back to that night when he had met his wife for the first time. Except the lawyer's letter lying on the table asking him to meet for a consultation regarding the divorce proceedings. And that his mother was in the nursing home in shock. And that his son had stopped talking since being explained what it meant.
He slit his wrists that night. And while he watched his blood lazily snaking down the water in the bucket he thought of how things could have been different. But mostly, he thought of the friends he had fought with that night.
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