Mar 16, 2006

Odes to a wife (any wife..)

Classic rock is 'classic' not just because of the music but because of the incredible lyrics. No other musical genre has captured the angst of our confused generation better than these guys. So forget those long hairs, drug busts and sexual orgies - these guys were the true philosophers of the previous century.

Here are few samples on the greatest lines on relationships (mostly bad - my fav topic of course)..if u like them i can start on other topics.

'You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
It's too late to fight
It's too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right'

Billy Joel (rest of the song)

'I don't care if you never come home
I don't mind if you just
Keep on rowin'away on a distant sea
Cuz I don't love you and you don't love me'

Clapton (rest of the song)

'You analyze me, tend to despise me
You laugh when I stumble and fall
There may come a day when I’ll dance on your grave
Unable to dance I’ll still crawl across it
You must really consider the circus
It just might be your kind of zoo
I can’t think of a place that’s more perfect
For a person as perfect as you'

Dead (rest of the song)

'Hey hey, what can I do
I got a woman, she won't be true
Lord, hear what I say
I got a woman wanna ball all day'

Led Zepp (rest of the song)

'My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things
You're still the same old girl you used to be'

Eagles (rest of the song)

Want more??


Loki said...

Life's amazing! There was a time when Apu listened to love songs only, even Back Street Boys, if I remember correctly. Then it was the Guitar with Real Rock. Now its time for some, May I call separation songs?

Let it flow man! I like Promises by Clapton ideal for this situation. Its a wonderful song although.

Shuv said...

shut up u rascal..i listened to back street boys AS WELL AS floyd you bloody fool..but even that is disgraceful enough...

and ALL of them are great songs..even if you set aside the lyrics.

Loki said...

Oh! so I was right on Back Street Boys. Vikas I hope not you too. I hate it man! Once again Pop ko jalo do minus shakira, only because of the time Apu's going through, otherwise...

Shuv said...

abey! bhabi ko naam se bulata hai nalayak??

Vivek said...

Wah wah!!! Thank you. Another bout of musing - this time musical. Many thanks, what else would a newly wed asked for?

Shuv said...

chal yaar..tere liye ek list of romantic classic rock lyrics bhi list kar dunga

Anonymous said...

all MEN are such FUCKING BASTARDS.....uncaring, insensitive louts. the only thing they know is fuck, fuck, fuck

Shuv said...

hahaha..who is this??? you are right though..if only women accepted this fact as a law of nature and carried on..but oh no!! the just HAVE to change us, mould us and control us, dont you??

kaushik said...

Dear Miss anonymous I would invite you to read this post so that you may really start believing what you wrote.

Loki said...

oh! thats hillarious! who is this anonymous?

i totally agree with apu as will most men. if the only thing on a women's mind is to change us, mould us and control us, then all you'll get is a good f..k and then f..k off!

Shuv said...

vedas me likha hai..'nariyam, pakram, pumpamapumpum'. matlab wham bam thank you maam..who are we to go against the vedas anonymous?

Shuv said...

a word of advice anonymous..look at men how i look at women. i divide them into 2 equal parts - women and wives. i really like women, i despise wives. for example, i have a sister who is a wonderful human being - loving, caring, fun-loving..but when i see her as my brother in law's wife...oh boy! she is scary..i suggest you look at men the same way.

Loki said...

apu you're really a good human being. i lou you.

Shuv said...

hahahaha..i wish i was gay man! life would have been wonderful! dekhte hai..abhi bhi time hai...

vikas said...

i think anonymous is one of our wives,bloody women.

Anonymous said...

if wives are so bad, why go for the shadi ka laddu??? just for ball's sake?

Shuv said...

good question. and like most things in life there is no single answer. the ones i have come across are:
1) sexual frustration
2) peer pressure
3) family pressure
4) hindi movies
5) want to become a father
6) bored of being single
7) optimism (baaki sub chutiye hai meri shaadi me yeh sub nehi hoga, shuru se hi sub kuch clear kar dunga)

kaushik said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ho! Ho! Ho!... Woman in 2 parts.. Well why in two parts.. Many parts.. Folks you must read one or 2 posts of mine.. I call them the bra-burners.. Scary women.. But what would they burn now..

Anonymous said...

wat absolute shit!!! only men can come up with such ridiculous answers. and be supported men of course! u guys dont have enuff balls

Shuv said...

thats correct again..our predecessors had enuff balls..thats why they let their hands do the talking. we, sadly, have lost our balls. u r right..those were the days..

kaushik said...

Well I have always heard of the term "Male Bonding".. But anyone's heard "Female Bonding". Does it speak much about their ilk

Shuv said...

haha..lets have a impersonal rational logical answer to that anonymous (er...maybe you will need to have a sex change operation to do that)...

Shuv said...

by the way..heartfelt thanks for livening up the blog anonymous. do keep on writing.

kaushik said...

I read a recent report about men getting averse to seeing Brokeback Mountain. The storyline makes them uncomfortable. But when asked whether they would want to watch movies like Forbidden Love: The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Lives they all said a resounding yes..

So what does it say about men... More so what does it say about women..

But we want more women on the show.. This is an unequal contest..

vikas said...

where does balls come from in this whole conversation,anyways it was god's wish not to give women balls and they have ben eternally jealous of the fact so if nothing comes to thr mind all they have to say is "u dnt have enuff balls".by the way what is a measure of enuff balls and not enuff balls it is balls or no balls madam anonymous and thr is one sex which has it and other which dosent have it PERIOD.

vikas said...

i love scratching my balls coz now i know the reason why my wife doesnt like it.hahahhaaa

kaushik said...

A little bit of cross selling.. We use all channels these.. Thanks anon for giving me some fodder to write..

Read this

Shuv said...

now you have made me feel sorry for them..i feel all of us should donate our balls (whatever we have) after our deaths to these poor women.

Shuv said...

'behind every successful blog there is a woman'..hahahaha..good post vikas.

Loki said...

If any women can defy this, then I'll run nude from India Gate to Gateway of India. Check it out.

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Mumbai, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Loki said...

Taking Kaushik's point forward here is something for all women. Again if any women can defy this, I'll run nude from Thar Desert to Sundarban...kaafi india cover ho gaya.

Men always have better friends. They will stand by you, no matter what:

Friends of Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.

Friends of Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them.

Apu, ticket bechna shuru kar de.

Vivek said...

Dear Anonymous Bhabhi, Pranam! Let me honestly tell me you I have balls. If balls is the 'REAL' issue, please take mine. I don't need it any more. Thanking You.

Loki said...

Vivek, whats wrong with you? These are pressure tactics. You can't make such a big sacrifice for an anonymous. Please take your words back and enjoy your married life!

bubai said...

oh shit. i'm too late.

don't know what happened to u guys - how come u have become so cruel. I'm feelng bad for this anonymous lady. she seems too lonely. I am with her.

Anonymous said...

u guys are too much

shuv said...

yes we are..but next time there will be a 'woman friendly' post. just 4 u anonymous, as a token of appreciation for livening up my blog. thanks!

Cacti Girl said...

hello shuv- i don't think any of you men meant anything seriously- i am sure anonymous was being naughty-funny and flaming u guys and that she appreciated the funny/ silly comments and is probably ROTFLing now- ok- maybe not till NOW.

as for men just liking food, fuck, and fart- its an universal truth. who can change it? not me! i might as well just appreciate the humor in this world while i'm alive :)

btw- i really liked your rocker post- i am going to do something similar soon, hope you won't mind!

bubai said...

apu/shuv - can u pls clarify whether you meant all these seriously or not (refer to cacti girl's comment)?
if yes - you win lots of friends,
if no - you loose lots of friends and gain 2 - anonymous and cacti.

Shuv said...

hi cacti one of your posts i saw a reference to jerry garcia. so, being a fellow deadhead, i am sure you will ignore the fact that we have all been absolutely serious about whatever we have written here. Please dont let that drive you away (relieved bubai?)