Jan 23, 2006

The Industry I Work In

Emerging 'isms' of the new economy

INFOSYSism You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

INTELism Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don't run fast.

SUNism You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

2 comments:

Vivek said...

To add a few more...

PVRism You have some high class cows and they sell milk expensive milk to only affluent strata of society. They also have other milk products coming at exorbitant prices

AajTakism You enjoy the misery of cows and keep only sick, wretched & pitiable cows and sell their spilt milk in most sensational manner

Mallism You have cows and milk but no buyers to buy your milk

MBTism You have some Jingoistic cows and you will sell your milk only to your owner

TaTaism You have variety of cows and lots of milk but sadly a heirless old bull

IndianAirlinesism You have old dying cows who urinate more than their yield of milk

Doordarshanism Stop milking those dried udders and impregnate your cows again with some high breed bull (better outsource) for fresh supply of milk

shuv said...

yeh sub original hai kya?? sabas mere laal!!! its high time you started a blog..waise bhi shaadi hone ke baad raat raat tak office me baithna padega..tab time pass bhi ho jayega..