A poem for my son

What would I do,
If you became a pitiable drunk?
Wallowing in your self pity,
Meandering meaninglessly through life;
And I find you sitting alone somewhere,
Surrounded by the tattered fragments of your ruined life,
Putting up a brave front
And smiling that heart wrenching smile;
And saying 'It was all worth it,
and I would do it again'.

Would I think of my life?
How it was when I was his age?
How it still is,
Now that the excuses are gone,
The parameters have changed,
The paradigms have shifted,
But my behavior hasn't.

Where everything could be justified,
Because within my heart i knew i was always right;
And the heart never lies,
And the heart beats for you night and day,
And you need to save your heart from all that pain,
And you can do that all by running away.